All posts filed under: Inspirational

Bad Moments

It is important to note that in your life you will have many high moments and many low moments. If you’ve been on earth long enough you’d know this, you’d also know when these moments occur is unknown. How long they last are unknown. Whether or not this is the good moment is unknown. And whether or not you know you are in the deepest and darkest well, the very bottom of the hole, is unknown. One thing that is known, however, is that you will get out. At least, so far, that’s always happened to me. I guess I could say right now I am in a bad moment. I am in a blip. Time seems to be passing, but whether or not I am making any changes to it is unknown to me. I am tied to a railroad track and the bells are clanging warning me a train is coming, but I don’t when and I don’t know how to move. How I got on this railroad track is once again unknown …

The Cup is Half-Full

It drizzles down the nozzle of an overused kettle. Boiling water. There are dry bits of dusty coffee-curds at the bottom of my cartoon tattooed mug. Dribble, gurgle, psssh…slurp! Voilà. Instant coffee. Disgusting and oh so effective. I have no time to study. No time at all. By that, I mean: my mid-term is in three hours and I’ve only just started learning what a derivative is. That means: pump the coffee into my blood system sister, I have no time to be human right now. Caffeine, sweet legal drug, make me into a robot. That used to be what I lived by, in college. Clearly, last minute study sessions and caffeine aren’t enough in University…I realize it now, I accept my failure…I know I have to review my methods now…I thought I knew how to do it, turns out I didn’t. Oh well, I guess you have to start somewhere…I  realize that just like making my very first cup of coffee, studying for my first university exams, is just not something you “get” intuitively. …

Young Adulthood

Entering my final year of University, I can’t measure how much I’ve changed since I started my first. I’m a completely different person than who I was a year ago, and if given an introduction, the person I was three years ago wouldn’t even recognize me. In a short period of dramatic growth, I have exceeded my expectations in making strides towards becoming the woman my younger self always hoped to be, especially in an environment in which I originally predicted not much metamorphosis would occur. Up until now, the spirit of change has come as a lonely source of excitement amidst a world of boxed in decisions and set futures. As long as I can remember I have known I would attend University – but which one? What friends would I make? A comfortable level of adaptability and expression within a fixed path. But now, as the ambiguous abyss of our entire lives comes into view, the unknown has the potential to bring about more anxiety than excitement. I can feel the tensions rising …

Confessions of a Chronic Daydreamer

My teachers used to tell me I would often be looking out the window, gazing into space, which made them question whether I was paying attention at all. The answer is most definitely not. That’s certainly the reason why I repeated first grade. Daydreaming has been in my nature from since I could remember. Was it my blonde hair? Or my Pisces moon? My hyper-activeness? I seemed to never be fully there, but “off in the clouds” as some may say. I’m still prone to zoning out often and then suddenly coming back to earth, realizing I don’t know what just happened in the last fifteen minutes. There are many positives to being a chronic daydreamer. For one, it helps spur creativity, which comes in random bursts whilst I’m soaring above the clouds. Secondly, it allows me to pretend I’ve already reached my dreams and I guess acts in a way similar to ‘creative visualization’, working in hand with the law of attraction (pretending that what I want, I already have). Thirdly, it’s actually a …

Bloom From Within

Meeting the love of your life is as spectacular as it sounds. The moment you meet you can feel the energy pulling the both of you closer. And as all of us know, energy never lies. I saw you and I knew that you are the person I have waited and prayed for in a long time. I saw our future in your eyes. And when we stopped looking at each other, I began seeing it in the Orchid standing by my window. After our first fight, you drove to my place and gave me, the most beautiful Orchid I have ever seen. After all, you always knew what I loved and I’m quite sure you’re one of the rare men who really understands what a woman needs. She bloomed for a very long time, but then suddenly she stopped. Her flowers fell down, her stem started to get brown, it was like every part of her was sick and tired. At this time of my life, I was too busy being negative, angry and …

I Thought of You Today

I thought of you today, but I don’t think of you every day anymore. It’s getting better. The fact is, I can romanticize our short time together to my heart’s content and be as dramatic as I’d like, but deep down I understand that the only real reason you still consume my mind when it’s lost is that I’ve shared experiences with you that I haven’t with anybody else. You’re my sole encounter with real affection, and until that changes, my daydreams will continue to wander to you and all of our unfulfilled potential. Until that changes, as irritating as this may be to admit, I will never fully be over you. Once, lost in a dizzying douse of self-pity, I fished myself out upon the realization that you’re just a person. Just another human. You’re not some figment of my imagination. You’re a real human, with a real life and real issues, and I have nothing to do with any of them. But you don’t have anything to do with mine, either. And I’m …

Up, Up and Away

 “For once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and for there you will long to return.” This is a quote by Leonardo da Vinci, neatly captioned underneath a photograph I once double tapped on Instagram. I remember scrolling past this and thinking of how it made me feel. Like a loose thread, it unraveled a little bit more than I was hoping for and here we are, backtracking to December of 2013 – the year I moved from my home in Cape Town, South Africa and ventured to Rotterdam, Netherlands. At the time, my family had arrived in winter, a winter I wasn’t used to as this December was far from the cozy sunshine that once lit up my old room in the morning and the golden sands my feet would sink into on lazy afternoons. No, this was different; it was pouring with rain and each howl of wind felt like a cold slap in the face. We had settled in …