I received a text from a boy that I was talking to, obviously who had consumed a few too many alcoholic beverages. Mind you, we were talking for merely one week, and somehow he had the audacity to say this. What he wrote made me feel absolutely disgusted like my worth was determined by one thing only.
“Come over and have sex with me”.
Is this the new lingo for flirting? That’s meant to be a flattering compliment to girls? I read that message and felt a wave of anger run through me. So is this what I mean to you? Simply a body that can be used for your own physical pleasure? I ripped into him because blatantly, I know I’m more than that – I know my worth runs much deeper than what you see with the naked eye.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not your body. You are not the gap between your thighs, the pimples on your chin or the color of your eyes. You are not how flat your stomach is, your stretch marks, or the cut of your hair.
You cannot reduce yourself to a physical body because we are so much more than that. The material plane is a place to express our true essence, but it is not all there is. Our physicality changes over time – we get scars, stretch marks, wrinkles, freckles, broken bones. They’re little reminders of certain people, memories, and experiences in our lives. We are constantly changing, as well as society’s beauty standards, so we can’t expect to remain on par with them. Too often I see girls telling themselves horrible things, that they’re not enough because they don’t look a certain way. It breaks my heart into a million pieces.
Nobody is as hard on yourself than you. We are our own worst critics – please don’t forget that. We’re too busy worrying and beating ourselves up, that we fail to see that so many people love us regardless – who cherish us for all our quirks. Quirks are what make life fun and mistakes are what make good stories to your kids. And someone who can’t see past our quirks, don’t deserve a place in our lives.
Our bodies are solely vessels of energy. They carry us from place to place, allow us to communicate our thoughts, and empower us to experience the world through our five senses. But it’s the tip of the iceberg, the surface layer. Do you choose your friends based on their appearance? Or date a douche bag simply because they’re attractive? I’d hope not. It would be a very lonely and isolating life if you did.
You are the vibrations that you bring when you enter a room. The laugh you make at ridiculous jokes. You are a wild spirit who runs freely through the wind, whose heart is made of gold. You are the infinite love that surges through you when you hug your best friend or a stranger. You are a collector of experiences, memories woven through the jungle of your imaginative mind. You are the cracks and the voids, the broken and the whole, the dreams that you one day wish to achieve.
What I’m trying to get at is that you should never let people value you based on your ‘physical worth’. If you’re going to compliment someone, try to say something other than the physical – you may adore their mind, or their caring nature or are in love with their vibrational energy. True beauty will never be determined by the external, but by the intrinsic nature of your soul.
© 2017 Reef Magazine