1. You’re doing great. I think we get caught in the mindset that everything is turning to shit, that nothing is going our ways and that basically, we’re incompetent. I recently listened to a podcast by Stephanie Yu and it said to look at each day as an ‘episode’ of your life – like a TV series. At the end of a very dramatic episode of your favorite show, we’re usually so excited to see what’s coming up next and how the characters will overcome their current problems. Well, it’s same as your life – another day, another episode, but somehow things will work out, no matter how horrible this current episode is.
2. No one really knows what they’re doing. What is life about? Heck, nobody knows and we’re all just trying to figure out this mess along the way. There is no ‘right path’ to follow, and even if we do follow it; it doesn’t guarantee the expected outcome. Social media is such a perpetrator for instilling the idea that everyone is has got it all figured out. Well, I’m here to tell you it’s a lie. It’s okay to feel confused, anxious about the future or question your current life situation. There is no right way to ‘do’ life.
3. You’re beautiful, no matter what society says. I found this text post on Tumblr the other day – “Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike” – and it resonated with me so deeply. The media and society have constructed this idea of what it means to be beautiful – clear skin, luscious long hair, a tiny waist, a flat stomach, a perfectly sculpted butt. We need to stop measuring ourselves against a set standard because we’re all unique and beautiful in individual ways. Stop trying to change yourself because you’re seriously so fucking perfect the way you are.
4. Comparison is the thief of joy. This links on from my last point – stop comparing looks, your successes and your life to your peers or strangers. Just because you follow a model on Instagram who has the ‘perfect’ life doesn’t mean it’s real. Social media is a reel of highlights – you probably won’t see many people sharing the times they’ve felt alone or depressed. Once you stop comparing and just accept where you’re at, I promise life will become a lot easier.
5. You’re worthy of love. Stop making excuses for yourself – that you’re incapable of being loved, will never get a boyfriend or find ‘the one’. Can’t you see that so many people already value you deeply? Your family, friends, even your freaking pets. And most importantly, you are worthy enough to love yourself. Every inch of it. Feel the love and spread love to all those around you.
6. Everything is temporary. This is crucial to remember whether you’re going through a really rough patch, or if you’re incredibly happy. Life is temporary and situations are temporary. I think acknowledging this gives you a newfound appreciation for everything because it has the capacity to disappear in a second. Apply it to people as well – accept that many are going to walk in and walk out of your life, and there’s not much you can do about it. They’re all mini-lessons you can learn from.
7. Your mistakes do not define you. I’ve done and said shitty things, and I’m certain you have too. A single moment or ‘mistake’ does not become your identity. Actually, I believe the reactions and choices we make following that mistake are what ‘define’ us. Without mistakes, we would remain stagnant and would not be able to facilitate growth. Stop being so critical towards yourself, as those mistakes were necessary to help us develop into who we are today.
8. Take care of your health. Both mentally and physically. Drink water, do some stretches, eat breakfast. Do something that you love every day – whether that’s writing, painting, running, watching movies. Life is meant to be enjoyable – don’t limit it to your responsibilities or ‘to do ‘ list.
9. Listen to your gut. Trust your intuition because usually, it’s spot on. Those gross butterfly feelings that you get in your stomach? I swear they’re a sign that something’s off. Listen to it and follow it to find the root of what’s bothering you.
10. Relax and stop stressing out. Easier sad than done, I know. I need to take my own advice on this one. But seriously, we are tiny specks of dust in this massive universe – the grade you got on that exam doesn’t really matter, or the fact that this person said ‘blah blah blah’ is honestly irrelevant. Take a step back, breathe, and laugh at how silly our problems can be. We are incredibly blessed to be given this life, on this magical blue planet that orbits a ball of fire. Life is so darn precious. You are enough the way you are.
© 2017 Reef Magazine