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Losing the Now

Listen While Reading: Life is a Song // Patrick Park

“One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.” 

Time is an instant, a fleeting moment, a fleeting feeling, one second you are there, heart beating readily to the present and then it is a week later and that day feels like four months ago. You can’t even remember what you did yesterday, let alone a year before. The little things get lost in the shambles of stress and worry.

We worry worry worry. Will I make my bus on time? Will I finish this project? Will he like me? Are you sure this outfit looks okay? Where am I going to college? What am I doing with my life?

We worry over mindless questions, black holes of unknowns lurking in our mind, holding the future in a safe with a bolt lock and no key.

You know I can’t remember the last time I sat down with Mom and just had a nice chat?
The last time I actually remembered what I had for last nights dinner or the laughter of my best friend?

Life flies by in an instant.

I fear regret, because every moment is so fleeting. I fear never living life to its fullest. So I plan plan plan worry, worry, worry.

And there goes my life, right before my eyes, flashing by with memories so far gone I have dig them up out of the libraries in my mind.

If life is going to fly by then none of this will matter tomorrow, in a week, in 12 years. His words will no longer hurt. Your job will no longer ache at your bones. You will be happy once again. You will be sad all over again.

Life is up and down and up and down.

But every moment, every feeling of sadness, of euphoric joy, of love, lust, anger, terror will run past you and eat at the race track, and before you know it all the things you worried about will have happened and past, suddenly you are only left with now, today.

Words by Hannah D. // Photography by Georgina Wong.

© 2015 Reef Magazine


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