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Heartbreak & Science

I crave for colours to fill my life, since the tears caused by you washed every shade away.

Even though scientifically humans are able to distinguish 10 million different shades.

I dream to become bigger, to defend myself when your lies sabotage me.
Even though National Geographic claims that our DNA stretches out to Pluto and back.

I wish for more energy, for I’ve grown perpetually tired thinking about us.
Even though every day our bodies produce enough energy to drive a truck 32 kilometres out.

I yearn to inherit a better brain, then I’d be able to understand you’re pernicious to me.
Even though our brains create enough energy to light a table lamp.

And every time I let you break me, I aspire for a tenacious heart.
Even though, our hearts contain enough electrical impulse to continue beating when discharged from the human body.

But no mad scientist, or science itself can explain the reality of feelings, why we feel the way we do, why a heartbreak hurts so much, why love exists. Or rigorous theories of how it’s possible that selfishness lives in everyone, how it’s possible that Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster wasn’t actually real.
And finally, how it’s possible for you to every say “lol” and actually laugh,

“I love you”, and actually mean it. 

* Authors Note * 

I usually don’t like to post my own interpretation of poems, so the imagination and perspectives of others can come to life. But I feel the need to explain this, for it was one of my biggest fallouts, and hardest wake-up call. 

The examples shown in this piece show how large we are, but not of our emotional strength. The comparison between physical and emotional, is to show that there is an answer to every physical damage, but not for emotional. Scientifically, the human body has been through an in-depth analysis with great understanding, but feelings and heartbreak are still theories that base off interpretation. Why? because it’s far more complicated, beautiful but devastating all at once.

This poem is also to remind you, and me, that no matter how “big” we are, how many walls we’ve built, it can come crashing down in any moment, so please don’t beat yourself up for it. Even science hasn’t figured it out yet.

Words by Sam Budiartho // Photography by Kelsey Lee

© 2015 Reef Magazine


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