When we first met, I didn’t think much of it, did you? Sure, my cheeks burned and my chest inevitably fluttered, but I did not give any thought to the future of us. Your hair was brown and so were your eyes and we spoke with excitement in our voices when we exchanged numbers.
I did not think I would be able to recite your number like my mother’s in the middle of the night when I left my phone on the train and the man at the corner store asked who I wanted to call. You picked me up and took me to your apartment, and I think that was the first night I fell asleep on your couch before you could drive me to my place. I didn’t pay attention to your eyes when they met mine that first day. Did they flicker at mine like they do now?
When we first met, your hands were simply hands – nothing complex like they are now. They are soft, but strong and can easily tuck any lock of my hair right back into its place. After we met, you called me at midnight and I thought you had too much to drink like those other guys, the truth was, alcohol sickened you because of your father. But, I didn’t know that then and accepted you were sober once I realized you had remembered my name perfectly. The next day we met once again and you smiled at me. Back then, it was not my favorite smile. Back then, it was cute and your teeth were perfectly straight. But, right now you’re smiling at me and I am counting every star in the sky.
I did not know that the night was your favorite time of the day. You romanticized the stars back then. Now I believe every beautiful thing you said about them. I didn’t know that when I was younger and dreamt of candle lit dinners, that I had it all wrong. Eating Chinese takeout on your bedroom floor that one night you got home late was probably the best dinner I have ever had. A few weeks after we met you came to my apartment in the morning and I opened the door looking completely disheveled. I don’t think it fazed you that I was bare faced and wearing an old shirt. It was the day after I came back from my week in Rome with my school and you told me you missed me and I suddenly felt you becoming less like a stranger. I realized only our second kiss ever, that I had missed you too.
Soon, missing you became constant. We spent most days together and I missed you when you were across the room. I sat there and I missed you and I wondered what it would be like without you. It was only a few months in that I started to think about how different I would be without you. I would not have woken up early with you every day for a month for our smoothie dates when you went into that health craze. I would never have left my favorite popcorn in the microwave for over one minute and forty seconds if you hadn’t told me you found the best secret to making popcorn in the microwave. My plants would all be dead now if you hadn’t remembered each week to water them for me. I wouldn’t own that one dress you bought me in India because you said you looked at it and it reminded you of home and I guess I was already home to you after a year and a half.
So, tell me, were you wrong about me? Did you see love in me when our eyes first met? We are so far from then. But, does time really exist for humans? For lovers?
© 2015 Reef Magazine.