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How To Know He’s Not The One

When you fall in love the whole world turns upside down. The flowers smell better, the sun shines brighter, the people are kinder. It’s only one person that’s occupying your head and everything seems just a little more exciting, a little more beautiful. Now remember that there are no experts when it comes to love. Everyone’s relationship is different, everyone understands love differently and seek different things. One settles for less, others strike for extremes because mediocre love is not for them. So don’t take every word I write too seriously and don’t let the article lead to break up. But then again, if it can change how you feel about the person, maybe he’s not the one.

Firstly, he should be proud of you. If you are in a relationship, let alone in love with a person he should be really happy to have you around. He should introduce you to his friends and family. He should not be afraid to hold your hand in public or leave a peck on your cheek in front of his or your parents. He should be always glad if you succeed. Remember, it’s not a competition, he should remember it too.

Also, he must care. It is true that men are terrible at showing emotions or explaining how they feel. But if he really loves you he should care about you and your well-being for that matter. He should always walk you home or at least call you to make sure you got there safe. He should listen to you if you’re upset that your favourite book character got replaced or your beloved TV show ended. He should care if you’re ill or don’t feel well. He should take care of you and comfort you.

Furthermore, he should be able to understand you. If he doesn’t comprehend the fact that you want to stay in on a Friday night or that you want to spend time alone, he might not be the one. The guy who really loves you and deserves you must be able to understand and satisfy your needs. Love is putting another human being first, right?

In addition, he should trust you. Trust issues hide sorrowful past or loss of self-confidence. You must try to talk it out but if he doesn’t trust you either way, can you really call him the one? In my opinion, it’s both tiring and sad to have a boyfriend who’s constantly trying to control you or know your whereabouts.

Moreover, he must be a gentleman. If a guy really loves you he will show it. The one who treasures his girlfriend will always open the door for her, pull her chair, help with her coat, get out of his way to help her in any possible situation. If he doesn’t care about your comfort can he really be called the one?

All in all, always remember that you are the one in a relationship. Change what you don’t like and if you’re fine with his manners or twenty missed calls that’s great too! Make sure that you’re with the person you can call the one and don’t worry about other people and what they do or do not think. I hope you hug your the one and only extra tight!

Words by Goda K. // Photography by Johanna Mariel.

© 2015 Reef Magazine



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