It is 7pm. Most people will tell me that it’s too late for a coffee. Well, not for me.
After exiting the building, my feet carried me to the closest café. My senses were begging me to feel the smell of coffee once again. My fingers are cold, but soon enough they’ll wrap around the cup, full of the waking black liquid. And there it is…. As I’m entering the smell hits me. There are five people here. A couple and three old gentlemen.
I take my black coffee and sit on a table, right next to the window. My usual spot is around the corner – of course to be as invisible as possible, but the young couple has occupied my spot. Never mind.
I don’t have a friend opposite me, who I can talk to, but I don’t feel lonely. Not at all. Actually, it seems for the last couple of months loneliness decides to visit me when I am with ‘’those who are always there for me’’. I’ve been told that you should escape from the place that gives you the feeling of being in a box without air in it. However, if I have to be honest with myself, I must admit that I am not strong courageous enough to make such a big step. And that’s what ruins our life – the fear of failing and the thought of how we will look like total losers. But then, what really are we, if we stay “safe”, locked in our boxes we can hardly call home?
I am here now – in a café. I am watching the people outside, as they are walking and carrying their stories with them, an invisible weight on the shoulders. I wonder if when I had walked near a coffee shop, there was a person inside watching me and thinking about my story. And why are we always so curious about other people’s stories? What’s so interesting about the person outside on the street, when we don’t even know their name?
Maybe we just want to hear a life story and find ourselves in the narrator’s position, because one does not want to be the only one going through some stage of their life. We look for an advice or honestly said – “I don’t want to be the only one that …. ”. We look for a comfort. I guess that’s why I am here. In a café, away from my work or my home. I need this distance, so I can clear my mind and remember what my dreams are because they don’t come out in the daytime, when words and opinions are crashing them.
I believe that people belong together. We need love, support, and friendship. It’s just that, sometimes we are the ones to push people away. You can’t find the perfect lover or friend as you are not perfect yourself. And we are all different, that’s why there’ll be no harmony between us. That’s how we learn to know each other and live together – through love and hate, truth and lies, laughing and screaming. Probably the couple sitting on my usual spot knows this very well.
I bring the cup to my lips, but then I realize that there’s no coffee in it. Time to go home. Oh yes, I love those moments in the café, where my mind can wander freely. I pay and leave. Outside the wind wraps its cold arms around my body.
Words by Nelly K. // Photography by Kelly Smith
© 2015 Reef Magazine