Words by Emilia O. // Photography by Amee Kim
It’s dark out. The trees can’t help but battle against the brisk wind and beat on your window. The clouds have covered the already murky sky and like diamonds, stars are looking down at you. And you are under your blankets, quieter than usual, and motionless. But your head is running. It’s going faster than you can keep up with and memories are flooding you like they want to drown you. You are thinking about little things – little fragments that tend to be impinging you ever more deeply than your most brimming memories.
But you’re alright.
It comes in the coldest hours, the darkest hours, the loneliest hours – and you can never seem to shake it any other way than closing your eyes and falling asleep. But I have one promise — when morning comes, everything will be different. That little thing you did last week, like trip in your school hallway or express some awkward exchange between your crush, it’s not so bad. That’s what mornings are for. They are here to remind you that you have thousands of beginnings in your life.
It’s just one of those nights. Everything is crushing you and you can’t seem to pick yourself back up. You aren’t alone, though. You are never alone. And if you are having “one of those nights” right now, then I can pinky promise you that it’s alright. Those things bashing your mind are not as terrible as you are making them. Nobody actually remembers you tripping over the stairs and nobody is going to walk by you and think, “That’s the girl who spilled her drink at that café yesterday!” It’s okay if your shoe slipped off your foot in the hallway the other day and believe me, your crush isn’t going to hold the intensity of your sneeze against you. Those are tiny, tiny little worries that actually mean nothing. Really.
And if tonight is that night that you feel sad and all your emotions are eating you up and you don’t want to talk to anybody, then don’t. This doesn’t happen 24/7 and if it does? Then that’s okay too. Make yourself go out sometimes. The majority of us are teenagers and wow, aren’t our feelings absolutely insane? But if this isn’t too often, just sometimes, then stay in. Spend the night in your bed watching funny YouTube videos and drink tea because honestly, tea cures anything. And if you can’t sleep, then that’s okay, too. Just try. Keep your eyes closed. Pull the blanket closer to you. You will drift off sometime.
The sun will caress you in the morning to remind you that you are only a human and the moon will greet you that night, to applaud your strength. It’ll all be over soon and these thoughts that have imploded you will merely be dust. I promise.
As I have said before and want you to tell yourself, do not believe the things you tell yourself so late at night.