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Gaining Love

Words by Hannah D. // Photography by Amee Kim

“He is not the sun. You are.”

The internet’s black hole of quotes and gifs, hilarious and heartbreaking, has proved the inspiration for this week’s post. Boys are a topic covered often here on REEF. As teenage girls we tend to make boys, guys, men the center of our world. We paint them as the sun, and melodic songs swell with memories of their words. The trouble is we center our worlds around another singular person. One whom may make your heart flutter and your stomach churn. One who may make you moan and giggle at the same time. But nevertheless the boys, guys, men they are not the world, they don’t have to be your everything.

You meet a boy who takes your breath away and suddenly he is the sun, the moon, and the stars, he is the world and you have lost yours. There is a beautiful angst in the beginning, an adoration, wonderment of another human being; but nothing is meant to last forever. Time falls further on and he begins to find interest elsewhere, until one day you are at the receiving end of a goodbye call, a farewell flight. And as you hear him speak the words you never wanted to hear, you can feel your heart begin to cave in and your bones begin to shatter. Nothing in the world has felt more painful than the ache you feel swelling in your heart.You gave him everything you had and you are left an empty shell. The trouble with boys is that they are wonderful, but quickly you will learn that some can love for 6 years, some for 6 months, and some for only 6 hours. You will learn that no matter how much you chase, how hard you try, if he does not want you he will not give you the time of day.

So easy it is to say yet so hard to do. You have to believe that you are the sun, the moon, the stars. That you are worth someone else’s whole world and that love is not about giving up everything but gaining so much more. So this is my message to you: do not give him everything, do not let him be the only source of your happiness. One day you will meet someone who is right for you, the one, he will make you his world; you will be praised and loved, you will be his everything. But until this day comes, do not go chasing after someone who does not want to be chased, do not give someone your world who cannot leave their own for you. So for now wait, busy yourself living life, kiss a ton of boys, hell sleep with them if you care too, but keep working to find that balance of love, the balance between your life and his. No matter what you think, you can live without him, you will be ok, and you will learn to love again. He is not the sun, you are. You are everything and more and if he is meant to for you, he will realize that.


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